Look Forward

The other day I was walking to work and thinking about a lot of things. At one point I began balancing on a curb. I was struck with the realization that as I looked down right in front of me or down at my feet, I began to wobble and had to step down off the curb. But, as I looked up and forward towards the end of the curb, I could stay on course, even though the curb was a little curvy. Many of you can probably relate to a similar phenomenon while driving a car. But as I walked along this curb, I realized that it is a lot like life. the road may be a little windey, and if we focus on that bend in the road and forget to think about all we have in store in the future, we're gonna fall off. BUT if we look forward toward our end goal, it becomes surprisingly easy to stay balanced. It is important to live life in the present rather than the past, but isn't it just as bad to forget about the future? If we become so stuck on the here and now, it is sometimes harder to be happy, especially if the here and now means a lot of difficulty and heartache. We get so wrapped in trying to figure out what to do with out lives right now, that the bug picture is overlooked. I am definitely someone who does this a lot. I think that because great things aren't happening for me right now, that they never will. However, I know that my Heavenly Father has given me promises I can count on and He will take care of me. And I have so much time left and so many opportunities to live through! I was thinking of some things like these and some other things I am going through as I read my scriptures the other day and ran across Alma 36:3:

"And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their ^atrust in God shall be supported in their ^btrials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be ^clifted up at the last day."

In a previous seminary class, I had crossed out the words "O my son Helaman" and replaced them with "daughter" and my own name. For me, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like Heavenly Father was saying to me personally, "Kazhia. You are still young and you just need to trust that I know what is coming for you and I am in control." Which is a scary thing to do. To just blindly trust that things will work out. That there is a being so omnipotent that He knows exactly what is coming up in my life and knows that I can handle it. But its true. I have felt His love and influence enough in my life to know that  He knows when and where the best timing and place is for me to experience everything. I am so excited to live though everything He has in store for me. I still get to go through the temple and learn so much from those ordinances. I have the opportunity to vicariously partake of those ordinances for my ancestors. I get to someday be sealed to a loving husband (who is still somewhere out there, unknown to me. Haha), and I will get to receive the blessing of raising some of Heavenly Father's beloved children as my own and watch their lives pan out. And there are so many other things that the Lord has in store for me. Probably death and illness, more heartache on the way to finding that E.C. (haha excuse my Provo abbreviations..), financial struggles, loss of friends, and so many other yet to be had trials. But I look forward, even to these events in my life. Because I know I won't be living through them alone. I have so many amazing people that surround me. I have an entire family who wants me to be happy. And in top of all this I have my Savior who lived and died that I might be able to share in His joy someday. Why look down at my feet when I could see all these amazing lessons I get to learn in the future? Basically, I like to think of the quote from Walt Disney. Of course its the one at the end of Meet the Robinsons (love it!):

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. Wekeep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

I hope that I can continue to face my challenges with this attitude. Without looking backward, but forward, my eyes set on my goals with the courage to dive into new things and to do the hard things that will teach me the most. I can't wait to see what new paths I will find! Life is so good!

The Heart of Life

"Pain throws your heart to the ground" "No it won't all go the way it should" "Bad news never had good timing." These are facts of life. Sometimes we experience crippling pain, physical or emotional, that makes us feel like we can never move on. Things usually go in the complete opposite direction we expect them to go in, and bad things happen when we think things couldn't get much worse. But sometimes need to "turn off our tears and listen" for all the blessings we have. (Sorry about all my cheesy quotes!) The heart of life is simply good. The essentials of this gospel are sweet and can mend the most broken heart and the most torn apart life. People at their core have good intentions and amazing potential. Heavenly Father has blessed us with so much to keep us happy even as we go through this world of turmoil and heartache. We have the truth! We have hope and prophets and scriptures! We have families, though they are often imperfect in this life, that we can hope to perfect and complete in the next life. Heavenly Father will take care of all of His children and make sure we are all as happy as we allow ourselves to be. We all have "circles of friends" to point out the silver lining to us. Listen to them! We will be so much happier in this life if we choose to see that silver lining rather than the dark clouds we have to suffer through to get to it. And yes that is a conscious choice we can each make. Sometimes it can take a long time to come to that decision. And that is ok! Sometimes we have a right to cry and get our sorrows off our chest, but then we have to keep pressing forward and choosing to be happy. Then there's the final line of the song I want to talk about: "Fear is a friend that's misunderstood." Just because we are afraid doesn't mean we should let that fear overwhelm us and stop us from doing what we need to do and being who we need to be. The scariest things we do in this life are often the best for us! For me its change. It is really hard to change but I always come out of it a better person, because I allowed that change to take place. And in the end life can be happy. We all go through our different types of struggles that are just as difficult for us as another person's trials are for them. But I know that my happiness, like my faith, is something that no one ever ever can take away from me. And I know that deep down, people are good and this life was meant for each of us to discover that decency within one another. I know the heart of life is good. :) (Hopefully you're used to it by now, but again, please forgive my cheesiness!)